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I was on a coaching call last week with a school leader who’d just made a huge transition.
Elementary to middle school. New principal. New team. And for the first time in years, they were finally working with people who wanted to lead.
They told me about their assistant principal – a genuinely nice person who’d been at the school for five years. The kind of colleague you actually enjoy working with.
But there was a problem.
Simple tasks that should take minutes were becoming recurring problems. Like sending a school-wide message through their communication system. The AP didn’t know how to do it. After five years.
So this leader did what most of us do ...
They walked the AP through it step-by-step. Showed them every click. Made sure the message went out. Problem solved, right?
Not quite.
Because halfway through explaining this to me, they paused and said something that hit hard:
“I know that you have to do it a few times. I’m not sure what would have made him not come to me again.”
That’s when I knew we’d found the real issue.
The Hidden Cost of Being Helpful
Here’s what nobody tells you about being a supportive leader: Your helpfulness can accidentally create dependency.
Every time you solve a problem for someone, you’re making a trade. You’re trading your time now for... more of your time later.
Because here’s the thing – if they don’t truly own the solution, they’ll be back. And back again. And again.
Meanwhile, you’re wondering why you can’t focus on the strategic work that actually moves your school forward.
You’re not building capacity in your team. You’re building a queue at your door.
The Two-Tool Fix
The solution? It’s embarrassingly simple, but most leaders never implement it.
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