I was the YES Principal ... And it almost broke me.

A teacher asked if I could “pop into her room for just five minutes.” I said yes.

The secretary poked her head in to see if I could approve a field trip form “real quick.” I said yes.

My phone buzzed. A parent wanted to “hop on a quick call.”

That same day, I missed lunch. Forgot to text my wife back. Showed up late to my own leadership team meeting — and I was the one who called it.

I went home exhausted.

Not the kind of tired sleep fixes. The kind that lives in your bones. The kind of tired that feels like you’re drowning in your own good intentions.

I thought saying yes made me a great leader. But here’s what it really made me:

• Reactive.

• Scattered.

• Resentful.

• And dangerously close to walking away from the job I used to love.

I wasn’t building culture. I was playing whack-a-mole with everyone else’s emergencies (and calling it service).

Until one day I asked myself a different question: What if the problem isn’t the workload… but what I keep saying yes to?

That question changed everything.

I stopped saying yes to the wrong things.

And what happened next was this:

• My energy came back.

• My clarity sharpened.

• My staff started showing up differently

Because I started showing up differently.

Here are the 8 things I stopped saying YES to — and what shifted when I did.

1. I stopped answering unknown numbers.

If I don’t recognize the number, I let it go to voicemail. Not because I don’t care, but because I’ve learned that every random call is an open door to derailment.

If it’s urgent, they’ll leave a message. If it’s important, I’ll call back. If it’s neither, it didn’t deserve my day.

2. I stopped checking email first thing in the morning or last thing at night.

Checking email first thing puts me in reaction mode.

Checking it before bed guarantees I bring someone else’s stress into my sleep.

Now I check twice a day, mid-morning and mid-afternoon. That’s it. I start and end my day on purpose. Not in someone else’s inbox.

3. I stopped going to meetings without a purpose.

If there’s no agenda, no time limit, and no decision being made, I decline.

A meeting without a goal isn’t a meeting. It’s a time suck dressed in professional clothing.

4. I stopped leading with “How’s it going?” when I only had a minute.

I still care deeply about people, but I realized I was unintentionally opening 20-minute conversations when I had 90 seconds.

Now I say, “What’s up?” or “You need something?” Clear is kind. And it respects both our time.

5. I stopped obsessing over inbox zero.

Inbox zero made me feel productive, but all it did was make me the fastest email responder in the district.

That’s not leadership.

Now I batch replies in focused blocks. And I’ve never felt more effective.

6. I stopped pouring into the people who drain the mission.

There will always be that parent, staff member, or teammate who consumes 80% of your energy and brings 0% to the table.

I used to try to win them over.

Now I pour into the ones who are already leaning in. Culture is built through multiplication, not damage control.

7. I stopped trying to outwork overwhelm.

I used to believe the lie that if I just pushed a little harder, I’d catch up.

Spoiler: You never catch up. Y

ou just sprint faster in the wrong direction. Now I define the one highest-impact task for the day …

And I make sure that gets done before anything else.

8. I stopped expecting work to fill the rest of my life.

I missed too many dinners. Took too many late-night calls.

I used to wear busyness like a badge of honor.

Now I protect joy, rest, and time with people I love …

Because burned-out leaders don’t build thriving schools.

The Shift Was Subtle. But Everything Changed.

I didn’t become a better principal when I added more to my plate. I became a better leader when I started guarding my time, energy, and focus.

That shift didn’t just give me more peace — it gave me power.

So let me ask you: What’s one thing you’re done saying yes to?

• Leave it in the comments.

• Share this post with the Ruckus Makers in your life who need permission to opt out.

• Bookmark it for the next time you feel like your job is running you.

And if you’re ready to stop white-knuckling your way through leadership …

And start building systems, culture, and clarity that last …

Apply to the Ruckus Maker Mastermind.

This is the work we do every day. Because doing school different starts with doing leadership different.